To the Editor:
Re “All
the Single Ladies” (column, May 19):
Thanks for Maureen Dowd’s brilliant column about Elena Kagan.
The 18th century had a way of dealing with the issue of married and
unmarried women: older ladies were Mrs., younger ladies were Miss. I
don’t know whether Gloria Steinem had this tradition in mind when she
popularized Ms., but it was a tradition based not on marital status but
on maturity, respect and honor. (It was akin to using “honorable” for
peers, politicians and their families.)
We carry on this tradition when we say of great actresses and singers:
Miss Jane Fonda, Miss Shirley Knight, Miss Joanne Woodward, Miss Patti
LuPone, Miss Renée Fleming.
Whether these women are/were married or not is not the question. They
are all “Miss” because their talent makes them revered.
Ms. blurs the difference between married and unmarried, but takes away
the actor’s or singer’s (or even lowly author’s) honorific conferring
esteem. Now they all want to be called “actors” because female words
always lose status in a deeply sexist society.
Naturally, I myself prefer to be a poet, rather than a flowery, fervid
poetess. Or indeed an author, rather than a woman writer.
But the bottom line is: marital status should not matter.
Whether married four times (like me) or never married (like Elena
Kagan), we have our own accomplishments and beliefs. I am not now and
never have been an appendage to a husband.
Therefore I would prefer to be Ms. Erica Jong, or Miss Erica Jong, or
Dr. Erica Jong (honorific garnered from graduation speeches!), or just
Erica Mann Jong, author (maiden name plus nom de plume).
Erica Jong
New York, May 20, 2010
Note from KBJ: If you care what you're called or how you're addressed, then you're insecure about your accomplishments.
Keith Burgess-Jackson, J.D., Ph.D. 