Is this not frustrating? Here is what I would do if I were in charge of anti-doping policy. First, I would list the substances that one must not have in one's body. Second, I would test everyone at random times. Third, if even a trace of any of the substances is found in a cyclist's body, he or she is banned from the sport: two years for the first offense and a lifetime banishment for a second. There would be no excuses, justifications, or defenses. If it's in your body, you're out.

Where am I going wrong?