Poor Stephen Hayes! He's so perfect, morally, politically, and intellectually, that he can't bring himself to support Donald Trump, or even to resist the temptation to run him down. He says he can't vote for Hillary Clinton, but he can't vote for Trump, either, for that would, well, sully him. No dirty hands for Stephen Hayes! Better to stay above it all, floating free with the angels. Better to be pure than to compromise his principles. (One wonders whether Altar Boy Mitt Romney was good enough for him.)
What's funny is that Hayes makes a living writing (and talking) about politics. Whatever will he write about between now and November? Will it be one column after another excoriating Trump and announcing to all the world (or to all those who will listen) that neither Trump nor Clinton is good enough for him? That might get old real fast. And God forbid that Trump should win the election! Hayes would have nothing to write about for at least four years. Or if he does write about Trump, it will be with the usual condescension bordering on derangement. Maybe he'll get out of journalism altogether and get a real job, back in Wisconsin. I'm sure there are dairy farms that could use someone to pull teats on cows. There's also the cheese industry. He strikes me as someone who is very good at cutting the cheese. Or maybe he could switch to covering football. Come to think of it, he has an uncanny ability to work the Green Bay Packers into almost every conversation. This man was already insufferable. Now he is risible.
By the way, Hayes, like everyone else in this country, has exactly one vote. Who cares what he does with it? He can vote for Bucky Badger or Vince Lombardi as a write-in candidate for all I care.
Addendum: In case you're wondering why Hayes keeps announcing, in column after column and television appearance after television appearance, that he's too good for Trump, the answer is simple. He's preening before his fellow conservatives. He's saying the following to them:
I'm a better conservative than you are, and don't you ever forget it. Not only haven't I changed my mind and begun to support Trump, as have the likes of Rick Perry, Chris Christie, Peter King, Mike Pence, Ben Carson, Dick Cheney, Mike Huckabee, and Bobby Jindal; the very thought of supporting Trump, like the very thought of committing adultery, appalls me, indeed sickens me. By writing so many smug, self-righteous, adamant columns, I am signaling to you, my conservative peers, that I am more virtuous than you are. Let me say that again, so as not to be misunderstood: I am more virtuous than you are. I, Stephen Hayes, am the standard by which you should measure yourselves. I am Mr Conservative. I am the mother of all conservatives. I am the conservative's conservative. I am that than which no greater conservative can be conceived. Henceforth, therefore, when you consider a political question, you should ask yourselves, not "What would Jesus do?," but "What would Stephen Hayes say (or do)?"
Stephen Hayes is a self-important piece of shit.
