Keith Burgess-Jackson, J.D., Ph.D.

7-16-89 . . . Vice President Dan Quayle did it again. The man is a living gaffe. In a speech to a group of Young Republicans on the twen­tieth anniversary of the launch of Apollo 11, he lauded the first two men on the moon: “Neil Armstrong and Buz Lukens.” Unbe­knownst to Quayle, it was Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin who walked on the moon. Donald “Buz” Lukens is a United States Representative from Ohio who was recently con­victed of sexual misconduct for having sex with a sixteen-year-old girl. Good ol’ Danny boy; where would the comedi­ans of this country be without him? I just hope George [Herbert Walker] Bush has robust good health for the next three and a half years, because the prospect of Dan Quayle in the White House, with access to red tele­phones and nuclear buttons, scares the dickens out of me. He’s not fit to be dogcatcher, let alone president of the United States.